blogging

Short, angry, and a little comical.

Really fast post from my phone. I just read someone’s rant about the whole labiaplasty craze, and wanted to add my outrage.

Because seriously.

What
The
Fuck.

Stop comparing yourself to other women, stop comparing your body to porn stars, JUST STOP.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

YOUR VAGINA LOOKS THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO.

And for god’s sake, men (or anybody without a vagina) if you ever see a vagina and are like “wait, that looks wrong” just remember, you’re wrong. If it’s there, that’s how it’s supposed to look. Genitals are funky looking. Have you looked at a penis? Ever? They’re kind of goofy looking, let’s be real.

Stop being ridiculous.
You’re beautiful.
Nothing is wrong with your labia.
Promise.

As someone who’s struggled a lot with wondering whether or not my body looks “normal”, I get so angry when I hear about these kinds of fads.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
SO IS YOUR LABIA.
STOP HACKING BITS OFF.

I love you.

Xx mellory

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So Much Bigger On The Inside

I was on the YouTubes earlier listening to the song “Dear Daily Mail” by Amanda Palmer (great fucking song, although don’t watch it at work), when I saw a song I’d never heard before called “Bigger on The Inside”. I was intrigued because A) It had the possibility of being a Doctor Who reference and B) I thought I’d heard most of her music. Expecting something cheerful or joking or just fun and goofy with an awesome underlying message, I clicked the video. 

Eight minutes later and I was crying. 

This song caught me off guard completely, and even though I know it’s about her personal experiences, and I know that I don’t know her or her life or what she’s been through, I connected with this song on a level that surprised me. I think most people who hear it will. 

We’ve all been made small. We’ve all been taken advantage of. We’ve all been hurt. We’ve all had to find a way to keep fighting, even when we have no idea how we’re going to.

“You are bigger on the inside, but your father cannot see. You need to tell someone, be strong, and somewhere some dumb rock-star truly loves you.”

This line, although in the song directed at someone who wrote her a letter, just… got me. You are bigger on the inside. People may not see it. They will hurt you. They will insult you. They will try to tear away everything you love. You are bigger on the inside. Be strong, and somewhere some dumb rock-star truly loves you. 

I’ve been there, you’ve been there. Whether it seems small or monumental. That moment when you think “I can’t. I can’t fight anymore. I can’t be strong anymore.”

That moment when you’ve been crushed and defeated to the very core of your being. When you can’t find the beauty anymore. You can’t find the point anymore. They’ve taken your sense of control, they’ve taken your sense of worth.

“We are so much much bigger on the inside, you, me, everybody. Someday when you’re lying where I am you’ll finally get it, beauty. We are so much bigger than another one can ever see, but trying is the point of life, so don’t stop trying. Promise me.”

xxx with love. 

-Mellory. 

Listen to the song here: 

What are your thoughts? Feel free to start some discussions in the comments.

…Pubic Hair and All

Earlier today one of my FB friends posted this article about setting the pubes free:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jan/19/year-of-the-bush-female-body-hair-cameron-diaz-pubic

I read it, loved it, and shared it proudly. I didn’t expect anybody to comment on it or say anything negative. I thought if anything they’d be a little embarrassed and skip over it. But I got some surprising responses, such as “Gross!” and “I manage my hair unless the female likes it, it’s not society fully, it’s just that generally people don’t like hair, if I wanted hair rubbing up on me id make love to a burly man.” and “in my experience people too lazy to trim and care [are] usually too lazy to shower..” and from the same guy, after talking about how having pubic hair makes you smell bad, “Now listen to the professionals please.”

The professionals, eh?

Because you, sir, surely are the all-knowing when it comes to female bodies.

Now don’t get me wrong, I respect everybody’s right to like what they like. Be it shaved, trimmed, bald as a baby’s bottom, shaped into stars and hearts, whatever. I don’t care, it’s your body.

What gets to me is when people start talking about how disgusting body hair is, how dirty it is, how people with body hair don’t take care of themselves.

Because that is straight up and down utter and complete bullshit.

Like it says in the article linked above:

“Before the first world war, virtually no American woman shaved her legs. By 1964, 98% of women under the age of 44 did so. Before that war, underarm hair was not a cosmetic consideration. Fashions up to that point, while often clingy and form revealing, covered up most of a woman’s skin. But female fashions became ostensibly freer, and Gillette’s first razor for women came out in 1915, triggering aggressive advertising campaigns on behalf of more than a dozen “beauty” companies. Female body hair was suddenly deemed unsightly.

The capitalist drive to convince us that female body hair is unnatural and unclean has been alarmingly successful. The removal industry is worth millions, and uncountable women are ashamed of and distressed by their post-pubescent hair. But the industry is greedy. It must now convince the world that female pubic hair is dirty too.”

1915, my friends. 1915. How long as the world been around? How long have women been growing body hair? Newsflash: It’s a long longer than one hundred years. 

Not only are we told by the beauty industry that we need to be hair-less, but porn has also been an influence. According to some of my older acquaintances, seventies porn was all about the bush, but once the eighties hit it was all hairless, all the time. Unfortunately between porn’s ridiculous and unrealistic standards and the push from the beauty industry, women start to feel like they’re abnormal if they let their body hair grow wild and free — and I don’t just mean your lady-garden. I’m talking armpits, legs, and with some women, even arms. There’s this idea, like the dipshit from my FB said, that if you don’t shave, trim, wax, epilate, and pluck your way to pre-pubescent hairlessness you’re lazy and probably don’t shower.

What the fuck, guys?

Before I get into the whole “Men don’t have to do it, why should we?” I’ll take a little pit-stop over in “Why the fuck do we keep it going?”

I shaved my down yonder once. That’s right, once. The razor burn and itching that appeared the next day was enough to convince me I was done with that. Never again, no thanks, bye. Jesus Christ it was awful, and the idea of what it would take to maintain that shiny, hairlessly smooth porno vibe? Vom-canoes. I don’t know about you guys, but I do not have time every day to rid myself of every unruly hair.

A couple of years after my horrible shaving incident, I had a partner that was surprised to find I had pubic hair. I told him that I was willing to keep it nice and trim for him, but I wasn’t shaving it bald. It’s my body, and I don’t believe in doing something so incredibly uncomfortable just because someone can’t get over a little hair. He would nag me non-stop about it. For 2 1/2 years.

So to answer the question “Why the fuck do we keep it going?”

I think it has to do with keeping up with what we think/know our partners expect from us. Which to me just seems silly. Your partner should be with you because they like you, hair or no hair. Your partner should be able to respect whatever decision you choose to make concerning your body hair. If you’re comfortable shaving it all, shave it all, if you don’t give a shit and let it grow, let it grow for god’s sake. Don’t let society, the beauty industry, porn, your partner, me, your neighbor, celebrities or anybody else in this crazy world dictate what you do with your body. It’s your body. Not your parents’, not your pastor’s, not your doctor’s, not your partner’s, not God’s, yours. Own it. Pluck it, shave it, grow it, braid it, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we accept people for whatever decisions they make. Body hair isn’t gross. It’s not dirty, it’s not smelly, it’s not laziness. Whatever you choose to do with your body hair just don’t buy into the bullshit.

Because you, my friend, are beautiful. Pubic hair and all.

 

 

Feel free to comment, discuss, send hate mail, whatever floats your boat. 

Simply Ranting (a four a.m. post about feminism)

I wouldn’t call myself a feminist.

But I do believe we live in a society where the pressure for women to look and act a certain way is much heavier than that put on men. I do believe we live in a society where instead of teaching our little boys that ‘no means no’ and to respect women, no matter what they look like, we teach our girls to cover up their bodies and that it’s their responsibility to protect themselves from rape or sexual abuse, then shrug our shoulders and say “boys will be boys”. I believe we live in a society where men are congratulated and encouraged to have as much sex as possible, but when a woman does the same she’s branded as a slut and becomes a target for slut-shaming, when we as women should not feel ashamed about our sexuality. Slut is a socially constructed idea to bring down women that fight this double standard. I believe we live in a society where the doctors and politicians calling the shots are men who have no real interest in or idea of how complicated and beautiful the female body is. I believe we live in a society where you are cast out, judged, and looked down on if you step outside of the normal gender roles. I believe that we are not treated equally.

“But Mellory, women can vote and have impressive careers and go to school and own land. Where is the inequality?”

It’s in the fact that women are expected to shave their legs, their pubic hair, their armpits. It’s in the fact that men are more likely to be hired for that impressive job. It’s in the high percentage of women who get sexually harassed on a daily basis; it’s in the numbers if women who are raped and told they deserve it. It’s in the taboo surrounding women’s sexuality. It’s in the fact that birth control and abortion access are still being debated; that my body is in the hands of a politician that doesn’t think I have the right to decide. It’s in the companies that pay women less than men.

I don’t hate men. But I do think being treated differently because I don’t have a penis is outdated and overrated.

We are all beautiful and worthwhile, men and women alike, and deserve to be treated as such.

Worth doesn’t discriminate based on sex, gender affiliation, race, social status, mental or physical disability, sexual orientation, height, weight, body hair, etc. You are worth it.

If that makes me a feminist, then I guess that’s that.

Simplifying My Life

My name is Mellory. I’m nineteen and trying to find a better way to live. This is a blog about my simplifying my life. (Hence the catchy title.)

I have recently been going through some changes in my life. I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, I gained about fifty pounds, and I’m about to move out of state on my own for the first time ever.

Quarter life crisis, much? In all that’s been happening I’ve been doing a lot of re-evaluating of what I find important in life, and it’s brought me to an interesting place.

I’m sure I’ll get to ranting about all of those shenanigans eventually, but I have decided to go through every aspect of my life and bring it down to simple basics, and this blog is going to be a documentation of my experiences in simplifying my life. 

When I say every aspect, I mean every aspect. 

Clothes and belongings,

World views,

Food,

Beauty Products,

Beauty Regimen,

etc.

I don’t expect it to be easy or fast, but I feel like it will be a good thing. First order of business (starting tomorrow) simplifying my wardrobe. I own a shit-ton of clothes that I never ever ever wear. Why do I need to own all of them? “Just in case”? It’s ridiculous. 

TOMORROW tune in to hear about me documenting how much I had going through all of my clothes and trying to figure out why the hell we live in a society where so much weight is put on things we own. Also, get ready to read my rant on society. Because let’s be honest, what else do I ever rant about?